7.08.2008 – Enlightenment
All through my life, there were times that I would do things that were considered ‘wrong’ or a ‘sin’ to the Christian world. Most times I wouldn’t say much in my own defense. I would merely sit and take the verbal lashings, only occasionally stating my doubts. At that point I would be given statements similar to this: “You were raised a Christian, you know that it’s true” or “This is what the word of God says about that..” etc etc. Always thinking in the back of my head that there was something wrong with that perspective, but not entirely understanding what or why. Today, I think it hit me.
I realized, today, that in all of my developing years, I was shut out from anything that wasn’t accepted by ‘the church’. I was hidden from any opposing opinions. Why would any group who wholeheartedly believes that their way it the ONLY way, be so dedicated to keeping their people from hearing any opposing viewpoints? If it IS indeed ‘the truth’, then wouldn’t everyone figure that out at some point? So, basically, I was force-fed ‘the truth’. But that was only one version of ‘the truth’.
I can remember not being allowed to engage in anything (movies, music, books) that may have an opinion that could sway me from my Christian upbringing and brain washing. The more I think about that, the more I start to realize that I was being hidden from something. I believe that ‘something’ to be the REAL ‘truth’. Or even being able to search for that truth. How sad is it that the vast majority of the world is so insecure in their beliefs that they have to completely isolate their ‘initiates’ so that they don’t risk losing them to a differing perspective? If you ask me, that’s just more of an indication that what they are preaching is incorrect.
No, I have not found anything yet that I could accept as ‘truth’ really. But to look back and know that I was kept from searching for it or finding my own way has become a bit frustrating for me. It seems like so many wasted years trying to live a life that from all I can tell is a lie.