Home > life > 05.14.2009 – Unexpected Downturn

05.14.2009 – Unexpected Downturn

As a matter of background, I guess I should explain that throughout my life I’ve suffered and struggled with depression. Particularly in my early and mid 30’s. Over the last few years I’ve taken HUGE steps in finding ways to live happy and view life in an more positive perspective. But…

You know…I just don’t get it sometimes. Today I am in a really rotten mood and I just should NOT be that way.

I am a HUGE Pittsburgh Penguins fan and last night they eliminated the Washington Capitals from the playoffs to move into the Eastern Conference finals for the 2nd time in 2 years. So, you’d think that today I’d be flying high. Well, it’s quite the opposite really. I’m pretty miserable. My mind is in a million different places today. I’m overwhelmed with the amount of work I have on my plate both here and at home. I feel like there’s not enough time in the day to do the things that HAVE to be done, in order to have the time to do the things I WANT to do.

I think that’s the whole issue. I’m tired of working my life away. I’ve developed a sense of ‘life is short, so enjoy it while you can’ kind of mentality. And now, I just am tired of working all the time. Seems the moments that are enjoyable are so short lived. And even DURING those moments, I can sense in the back of my consciousness that it’s going to over soon and I’ll be back to the same ol’ same ol’ again.

I hate that this post has a huge tone of ‘whiny-ness’ to it. I’ve worked hard over the past few years to eliminate that mentality. But, some days I just have to get it out and sometimes, just getting it out is enough.

I fully expect that tomorrow, or even late today, I’ll be feeling better about things. It’s just disappointing to be still having periods of depression.


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