Home > death, life > 10.5.2009 – Thoughts for today….

10.5.2009 – Thoughts for today….

my grandmother passed away last night. and this is what I do when I need to sort out my mind. I write. Not well…but I write. And it helps…

I think that full-lives should be celebrated at the time of their ending. There are so many wonderful years, and wonderful things to remember about people. It’s just sad that the last few days, weeks, or months can be a so terribly painful and terribly undignified cap on an otherwise brilliant life. I realize this has more of an effect on us that are still alive, but really, that’s the thing that seems to be effecting me at the moment. I’m trying really hard to focus on the good years. The good memories. And trying to disregard all the ugliness that was recent history. It’s a challenge to be sure, but not an insurmountable challenge.

For us that remain here. I feel that we need to try SO much harder to appreciate the people that we have. To love each other unconditionally and without reservation.  Because once they are gone, we’ve lost our chance. And regret is an awful thing to have to live with.

I’m so glad that I got an afternoon to spend with my Grandmother a few weeks ago. At that time, while being confined to a wheel chair, she still seemed to full of life. She still had so much light in her eyes. I am so thankful that I was able to sit and talk with her. Give her a hug and a kiss before she left.

So, even though our families have been distant, and we can probably never feel like we’ve had enough time with our loved ones, I guess I can take some comfort in knowing that I was able to have a few ‘last moments’ with her while she was still very much alive. And I believe that she felt the same way about that day.

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