I believe that this whole pursuit of mine is really just my way of trying to find some inner peace. Some way to be happy and satisfied with the life I’ve been handed. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve never been at peace with myself. There’s always been inner turmoil, self-doubt, paranoia, and guilt. More than anything else…guilt.
The problems I’ve had I believe root in my upbringing. Christianity (and most other major religious) foster guilt. I have always had such a problem feeling guilty about things. Even things that I had absolutely NOTHING to do with. I think that a lot of that comes from being brought up in a church that says that basically everyone is a sinner and most everything that humans do is sin. I have a real problem with that. I can’t honestly believe that by our nature we are sinners that need saving. And anyone who doesn’t believe and follow that ideology is doomed to an eternity in a pit of fire.
The more I find out about the differing veiwpoints and beliefs throughout the world and history, the more I feel it’s ok to believe what I believe. It’s ok to not follow ‘the crowd’ and do what everyone else is doing just because that’s the way it’s always been done. I hope that this trend continues. I think i deserve some inner peace for a change.
I’m beginning to put together theories in my head about these quote/unquote “Secret Organizations”. ie the Freemasons, Knights Templar, The Rosicrucians, and the like. I’m starting to believe that the secrets that everyone thinks are so important to us as a society are nothing more than ‘knowledge’. Or maybe it would be better put as ‘ideas’ or ‘ways of thought’.
Let me explain. I’ve been doing a ton of reading lately (and I’ll site specific books below), and it seems that many of them have one thing in common. In the medieval times, free thought was a VERY serious “no-no”. With the power of the Popes and the Catholic Church in those times, any person who didn’t blindly follow what the Church said was right, was considered a heretic and would be subjected to some of the most horrible suffering that we could ever imagine. And then an untimely death, usually by slow burning on the pyre.
The sad thing is, these ‘heretical’ evils that the common people were accused of were sometimes nothing more than thoughts and ideas about how our universe is put together and how life works. Things like mathematics, art, and literature. All things that were considered ‘evil’ by the early church and often times associate with Satan worship and demon possession.
In our world today, we know that these things are natural sciences. It can almost not be comprehended that the ideas that all of us, and our children, now learn in school, were the very things that were condemned and were punishable by death in centuries gone by.
I am starting to believe that these ‘secret’ societies, that all seem to have found their origins during this time, were nothing more than groups of people that had very brilliant and creative minds. They had theories about our world. They were experimenting in science and math. Learning skills that today we take for granted. However, they needed a way to discuss, share, and learn without the risk of the wrath of a very unforgiving Christian church. The way to do this? Create an organization of very trusted colleagues where these ideas could be discussed. An organization where you had to go through heavy initiation to be proven trustworthy. Why? Because the cost of betrayal was death.
In the medieval times, the church (specifically the Roman Catholics) tried to control absolutely every part of life (much like today, though they obviously have less influence). They ruled with an iron fist. One that caused endless suffering, misery, torture, and death to many innocent people. Anyone who did anything (or was even accused of doing anything) contrary to the teachings of the church, guilty or not, was subjected to the cruelest of tortures until they confessed to the ‘crimes’ to which they’ve been charged. At that point they’d be sentenced to death anyway. I would imagine that death would be a welcomed end to the horrors they had been subjected to up until then. So, many probably admitted to their ‘crimes’ just to end the agony of the tortures once and for all.
My recent research:
Born in Blood – The Lost Secrets of Freemasonry – John J Robinson
The Templar’s Secret Island – Erling Haagenses & Henry Lincoln
The Secret History of Lucifer – Lynn Picknett