Posts Tagged ‘pain’

07.27.2010 – I’m not afraid of dying

As someone who often ponders the wonders and mysteries of our universe, it’s should not be surprising that at times those thoughts move to the concept of death. I’ve thought (as I’m sure most of us have) deeply and intently about this inevitability from time to time.

I used to have a definite fear of death. The concept of being dead was terrifying to me. I think that had a lot to do with the religious implications that I had in my head as a believer. Obviously, there is a wide spectrum of possible destinations were religious concepts to be true. So, for me at that time, the fear was making a mistake before dying that would land me in a place that I certainly didn’t want to end up.

In my current belief system, being dead is dead, and as Mark Twain said:

 “I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

So, for me now, it’s not so much a FEAR of death (albeit, there is still a fear of a painful death, but that’s the fear of the actual pain, not the dying part) but a feeling of loss. A feeling of sadness for not being able to experience this life anymore or to be with the people who matter the most to me. I think that’s the hardest thing of all to accept. Sometimes I have to stop myself from imagining that awful day because the emotional impact becomes so tangible. It’s a reality, though. As much a part of life as birth is. Albeit, I would have to say it’s the worst part. There’s comfort to be had in this worldview, and I will probably get into that in a follow-up post. But for now, I’ll just say that it’s yet another reason to live every single day like it’s the last one you’ll have, because you never know…it might just be.


03.07.2010 – Personal Update and MIA reasoning

I know I’ve been MIA for a bit now, and for the handful of folks that actually read this blog, I thought I should post a quick update and explain my absence a bit.

Two weeks ago as of today, I fell while Ice skating with my daughter and snapped the humerus bone in my left arm in half. I had to have surgery the next day to have a plate and screws put in. It was, single-handedly, the most painful thing I’ve ever gone through, and I would NOT recommend anyone try that at home! 😉

The Injury

The Fix

So that being said, I’ve spent the last two weeks, mending, and working, and basically being locked up in the house. I’ve only gotten my two-handed typing ability back about 5 days ago.

Progress is moving well. My physical therapist says I’m making ridiculous progress with my range of motion. While it’s still going to take another 4 to 6 weeks for the bone to actually heal, my PT said yesterday that my progress was amazing. And he would have expected that I was 2 months removed from surgery rather than the less than two-weeks that I am. So, that’s all good news as far as I’m concerned.

Well, there you have it then. I probably will still be a bit slow on posts for a bit. But I will try to get some new stuff up here as soon as I’m feeling up to it.

take care all!

Categories: health, life, Personal Tags: , , , , ,